Top 10

hey, this is an idea i've seen in some forums, where someone comes up with a subject type thing, eg. "top 10 things not to say to your boss" and people reply one by one with the top ten, counting down. Anyone want to start?

--"Tiddles!" bellowed Moist. He wished he hadn't. It was such a stupid name to shout in a burning building.
An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.

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Re: Top 10

well i meant Helpicantfly's but yours was equal but it was inserted posthumously.


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That ain't no English I ever dun heard!


Re: Top 10

3. play thud in the snow with numb hands(if only there were snow)


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"Tiddles!" bellowed Moist. He wished he hadn't. It was such a stupid name to shout in a burning building.

An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.


Re: Top 10

2)play with a blowtorch


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Re: Top 10

1. do what that guy does in the guiness advert and dive underneath the ice for bottles of beer.


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"Tiddles!" bellowed Moist. He wished he hadn't. It was such a stupid name to shout in a burning building.

An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.


Re: Top 10

or like that guy who swam across the english channel,crazy fool


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Re: Top 10

which one? there appear to have been multiple including I believe at least one woman.


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Re: Top 10

Druid
ook wrote:

or like that guy who swam across the english channel,crazy fool

David Walliams?


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Re: Top 10

Bronze Member

is there a new top 10 of things?


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Re: Top 10

Druid
helpicantfly wrote:

is there a new top 10 of things?

there can be now...

i put it to you:

top ten things to do with a bedsheet


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Re: Top 10

10)sleep under it


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Re: Top 10

well I'd say use it as a ghost outfit and scare people in order to get the KKK from taking this spot...but to show defference to Ook's sleeping habits I shall say...Sleep OVER it


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Re: Top 10

8)use it as a nappy(that was for you sgt L)


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Re: Top 10

7) use it as a parachute in case of terrorist attack on your house


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"Tiddles!" bellowed Moist. He wished he hadn't. It was such a stupid name to shout in a burning building.

An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.


Re: Top 10

so you live in the sky?


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Re: Top 10

7) use it as a parachute in case you "fall" from a tall building


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That ain't no English I ever dun heard!


Re: Top 10

ahh the twin towers incident eh


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"You know how it is with twins...one twin gets and airoplane, the other twin wants an airoplane"

seriously how many times had the spelling of that changed? from aeroplaine?

use it to hide from creatures who believe if you can';t see them, then they can;t see you.


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Re: Top 10

i understood the first part of that,but the last part is a mystery to me


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Re: Top 10

A) the spelling of the word airoplane has changed a lot and not even i cvan spellit now

B) douglas adams in the hitchhicer's guide... wrote of a creature who likes to eat people but a towel can save you since if you put it on your head its logic will come to the conclusion that if you can't see it, it can't see you and will then lose interest.


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Re: Top 10

oh,the principal of 'if i can't see you then you can't see me' eh?it's been proven,you know


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Re: Top 10

well it's not ENTIRELY true, i can see you if you can't see me if you're head is bigger and mine is smaller (tautology for you) and i can see the side of your head around the wall but you can;t see mine because it's closer to my eyes so i don;t need to expose it as much etc. but yeah,...


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Re: Top 10

5. To smuggle your latest victim out of your house in a removal van


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"Tiddles!" bellowed Moist. He wished he hadn't. It was such a stupid name to shout in a burning building.

An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.


Re: Top 10

Bronze Member

this is a joke ok do not want to offend any one !!!!!
4:use it to dress up as a member of the k.k.klan
again this is only for fun o.k
they are very nasty people !!!!!
DO NOT TAKE SERIOUSLY.


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Re: Top 10

3: use it to flee from Anatefca.


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Re: Top 10

Anatefca?


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Re: Top 10

Bronze Member

2: use it to escape from prison!well there all do it on t.v


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Re: Top 10

1)use it as a nappy(don't ask why,i couldn't think of anything that was funny enough)


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Re: Top 10

Founding PatronLibrarianDruidThudmeister

Top ten things not to do at a funeral:

10) Get out a stethoscope and put it against the coffin, to listen for sounds of life

MS


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"LOOKS PERFECTLY LOGICAL TO ME"


Re: Top 10

Druid

9. sing merry christmas


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Re: Top 10

8)lean over the pew to say to the deceased's wife.

"so who's wedding is this then?"

Mr. GreenMr. GreenMr. GreenMr. Green


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Re: Top 10

ook wrote:

Anatefca?

Anatefca was a village full of Jews (I believe) in fidler on the roof and they had to flee when the russians turned around to kill them


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Re: Top 10

Druid

7) get the name wrong as you are giving a speach about the deceased

Very Happy


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Re: Top 10

Hide in the coffin and jump out on the relatives to suprise them for a joke


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Re: Top 10

5)use the deceased in your ventriloquism act to uplift the hearts of the deceased's family


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Re: Top 10

4) reposses the coffin to pay for the deceased's gamboling debts...and repo his clothes for the bank


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Re: Top 10

3)(It can be 1) but...)You are the lover of his wife...


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Re: Top 10

Druid

2)"wheres the food table?"


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Re: Top 10

1)This is a bank robbery


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Re: Top 10

top 10 things to do with shoes

10)throw them at people


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Re: Top 10

Founding PatronLibrarianDruidThudmeister

9) If they're old shoes, declare (in the style of the Iraqi Information Minister), that the American and British invading forces are less valuable than said footwear.

What a man Wink

MS


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Re: Top 10

Bronze Member

8. use them to drink out of !!!!!
"touch my food
feel my fork"


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"touch my food
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Re: Top 10

8)take your shoe off your foot in a public place(train,etc)and ask people if they can smell what you stepped in.


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Re: Top 10

7.Eat them!


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I don't know half of you as well as i should like, and i like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.


Re: Top 10

6)Give them to me and buy you a nother one!!!


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Re: Top 10

place a tack in each and let an agreeable opponent walk a mile in them


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Re: Top 10

what are you trying to tell me sgt L?

4)wear them on your hands and walk on your hands,or something


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Re: Top 10

3: wear them whilst joining the 'ankh-morpork times' newspaper team where you can write an article of your choice for fun, join now by sending me a PM

i may have advertised a bit ther


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Re: Top 10

ook wrote:

what are you trying to tell me sgt L?

what are you agreeing to ook?

2) strip the leather off and glue it to a cow as reparations for the injustice done to its bretheren


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Re: Top 10

i aint agreeing to nothing(does that mean i'm agreeing to something?)

1)take the shoes and wear them on your ears(i don't know why,but i've always wanted to do that)


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Re: Top 10

I've got an idea:

Top Ten 'Man Rules',

things that men who are insecure about their manliness can and cannot do, I'll start this one off as its tricky

1) Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella


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