the duel

I have arrived to witness and cause your demise.

Oh, and your arms may be longer but do women care? NO when it comes to size they're only interested in one thing. Yup. and guess what My legs /are/ longer than yours. so at the end of the day who's better off?

+++We shall take ten paces each, turn and fire!+++

ah,and so it begins,again,in this forum thingy,continued from variuos others..erm

that would be better for you,but of course you only have 2 legs,whereas i have 3!!!

1 pace (he fiddles in his holster to make sure the gun is ready)

Sergeant lettuce deigns to notice you in order to accept the compliment.
touche. I have never tryed a bong...I don't like the sound of water bubbling like that it shouldn't bubble like that.
I could beat you at cluedo any time. It was you in the hall with the candlestick.
sweet things rock bitter things...paper or if you will /Cha/
[mutters about the stupid SAs renaming a game when it clearly already has a good name]

we're the only ppl here now...this gives us a chance to battle.

are you afraid of bubbling water,don't worry,it's not someone farting in it.
you wish you could beat me in cluedo,i'm usually the master of all board games/pub games/and any sport except waterpolo,which i think is stupid,i'm exceptionally good at putt putt.
i prefer savoury,and it would be scissors,as the term goes rock,paper,scissors.

I agree water polo is crap especially after the 1956 melbourne olypics Russia vs hungary water polo. If you know any history you'd know why the water turned red.

I had a bad experience with savoury- no one said that half a kilo of salted peanuts would be bad if eaten at once.

+++well the everage mass of my apendages outdoes that of yours+++

the only reason you would think i was gay would be because we're having a fight and you would want to have make-up sex to reconciliate....ewww
just because you walk around on all fours doesn't mean that your arms count as legs

3 paces-ook looks around for something to protect his nether regions as he predicts that sgt lettuce will be trying to 'make up' with him

your doom haath come
2 paces-looks around for anything that looks like a gun that could be used while thinking how much Ook sounds like my Kwazi friend and whether he was gay or not.

P.S. I have four legs.

nobody told you to be an idiot either,you just did it because you're curious,and you can't help that,because you don't know any better,check your inbox

That proves you're gya as no man names the different types of sex and no woman would ever actually have reconciliation sex. and if we did "make up" believe me you'd be the bitch. Alas after this eppic battle neither your "nether regions" nor the rest of you will be able tyo sustain a single covalent/ionic bond and your atoms while not annihilated or fused, will dissipate as regulated by the bos-einstein statistic and pauli exclusion principles

4 paces dramatically removes flowing black cape that wasn't there before I'm sure of it to reveil...

touche monkey boy touche
soon you shall feel the wrath of my club.

the fact of the matter is that if i was gay,you wouldn't worry about it as i have previously explained that you don't have a nether region,and therefore your only concern would be if i wasn't gay and you'd therefore be a woman.
as for annihilating me and my nether regions,you'd have to get through HENRY first,he's my pet octopus,he's got 9 tentacles and he's purple.

5 paces-takes a blindfold out of his pocket and wraps it around his head thinking(i really should give this poor fellow a chance)

you have a club?what sort is it?
nightclub?
jazz club?
feminist club?

Nice one
Well good luck to Henry and the "Great Nation of South Africa"'s mutagenic water supply.

Six paces- wonders why we only ever take alternate paces. Takes out own blindfold and offers it to Ook as a gag to stop him crying to mama.

OO a low blow (or a foolish one I don't know yet)
and make of those words what you will.
But i shall refrase, soon you shall feel my wrath manifested in the form of my club*

*large blunt instrument.

actually,the water in SA is really good

7 paces-you're the one who started alternate paces.wonders how sgt lettuce could do something like that,oranutangs don't cry,at least not this one

How does one actually enter into a game within the "Play thud online" section?

8 paces- seeing how slow paces are, nips down to the pub, has a few SWEET beers , has some very satisfying sex with a blond from downstairs and returns more refreshed...P.S. has located a fine pistol and will use it mecilessly.

eww.is that what you call it,i've heard of lots of names,but club??
someone thinks highly of himself
and if that's the case then you can stay away from me with that club

once you have gone into play online thud,then click on 'play live online thud in real time'i await your arrival

9 paces-after peeking behind him,ook prepares a trap in the place where sgt lettuce will end up at 10 paces while sgt lettuce has run away to the pub.

glad to see you're carrying on the "Low blow" metaphor.
I feel so immature.

sometimes it's good to be immature,for you it's all the time

Sgt Lettuce has in his absence replied to Ook's open request on the online thud room (I pay for internet / downloaded megabyte so I'm not sure if realtime is a good idea. will check) and anticipates Ook to have layed the trap whiles I was laying the blonde

10 paces- every inch Clint Eastwood, spits out home-rolled cigar and draws out weapon in preparation to fire whilst avoiding trap.

that comment in itself is sufficient to insult you in the stead of my next comment. HA!

spins around and fires with his waterpistol filled with green jelly at the feet of sgt L to make him slip when he lands after dodging the trap

In mid fall, utilising his training from Keanau Reeves boot camp pulls dual pistols from beneath auxilary coat and fires super glue at Ook's mouth in heroic slo-mo to shut him up..a fate worse than death.

[timpanny sounds]

i see that you couldn't think of anything to reply to that last comment,i am gaining the upper hand

following in keanu's footsteps,ook bullet-times out of the way while putting on his flashy glasses and black trenchcoat with accompanying black leather attire.

he the sticks his hand out and beckons sgt L to come forward and engage in hand to hand combat

Sgt. Lettuce approves of Ook's commic bondage attire. He flies forward so fast the wind cased by his passing makes the earth open up and impresses nearby pokemon while a high speed camera panns around the flying figure so fast it's as if I were stationary

You fool, that was only to lul you into a false sense of security! I shall now proclame the profanity :POPPYCOCK to express my opposition to your flawed veiws.

ook adjusts straps to make it more comfortable and watches passively as sgt L attempts to break the sound barrier and says 'ook'

ook downs the rest of his flask full of assorted alcohols,as this is an alcohol forum,and grins menacingly at sgt L's profanity

Sgt Lettuce replies with the challenge: OOOK!*

In mid flight Sgt Lettuce turns to face camera and refreshes hisself with hatorade^tm "When you just can't stop hatin'" and lines his attire with newly aquired $1000 bills courtesy of the coca cola company in association with larramy's cigarettes "for that early morning puff"

*in english: "Now is the time that we shall fight the final but near eternal battle to decide for once and for all who is the superior warrior and whose argumentative abilities surpass the other and so it is with great anticipation for your abilities and great mourning for your death that I hereby do engage you in hand to hand combat. Let the battle begin!

you sellout piece of crap,that's how you think you're gonna win?by satisfying the sponsors?it shames me to battle such a type of filth as you are.

and where did you learn to speak ook?i though people could only understand it,not speak it.

i swing at you with my extende reach

WOOOOSHHH!!

I was wondering when you'd remember about that.
Sgt lettuce orders his payed underlings to grin menacingly on behalf of him while he leans in vampyrical elegance against a dark post and alows himslef a smug closed mouth smile.
and then wonders how a sergeant could aford underlings.

I studied my oponent well. sponsors? I was just straped for cash is all. besides you'd be surprised how good armour money is.
Mastert Keanau has taught me well as I hold out my palm and stop the claws in mid flight

when did you get vampirycal elegance?

and i bet you're not a black ribboner,so you would drink blood

I drink many bodily fluids but for your information if myu friends see me not in black they automatically ask what's wrong so there.

+++Necessary? is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? no, but i do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.+++

isn't this place getting quite busy?
i extend my fingers(with claws) fully so that they just manage to choke you

no wonder you like sweet beer

GAH! but as it is midnight and I have ascended about 20 ranks in points today I will retire leaving ook with a handful of air and the watchers will have to wait for the sequel. Same place so you don't have an excuse for not showing up.

victory for today!!!

till next time

I think this is a start of a new friendship, you will be the best of friends at the end of this you just need to sort out of your differences lol

Angua

don't you dare say that!!

i want to rip out his guts and feed them to HENRY

*gets some popcorn and something to drink and sits down in the shade, but with a good view on the duel*
I think this is going to be interesting. Come here, Angua and we watch it together, ok?

sorry

i don't appreciate that.if you're gonna be like that then you should pay for the show

ok, i will just keep out of this...

unless you want to join the fight?

Well, I won't. I'm not good with guns and it would be unfair because I can't die. But I'm gonna enjoy watching and I keep my mobile close and charged, so I can call an ambulance if necessary, ok?

that's really nice of you
i'm sure sgt L will be pleased to know that medical assistance is available when he needs it,if you want to watch the show then come by tomorrow morning

Ok, I'll try. I cannot promise anything. Depends on when we'll have breakfast. But I will try to be there. Don't want to miss the show .