discworld football team

Hi helpicantfly!

I think Rincewind is good....(at running

Wizz

Nice idea. I know nothing about football, but I guess Carrot would do quite well. And if he doesn't just make him referee.

really good idea

i'd definately say ridcully and the wizards,they could confuse the opposing teams defense while people like the sweeper could cut his way to the goals before anyone realized what happened.
you could put the librarian as goalie as he can swing on the bars and has really long arms.

and always have an igor on the bench as a medic.

Nobby Nobbs

i dont know why, but somthing strikes me that he would be a good player...

hm....vetinary......

Wizz

detritus could train them all up

hey, just moved this into the drum - seems to me to be a better place for this discussion.

indeeeed!

i suppose letting trolls play would be a little unfair on everyone else (not that im sizist of course )

angua (wolf form) would be an interesting apponent to play against...

what about foul ole ron,i reckon his smell alone could fend off any sort of attack.then of course he's got a whole string of curses and muttered words he could throw at you to confuse or repulse you.he's also got gaspode the amazing? dog to bark at the opponent or piddle as he says onto their legs.plus i'm pretty sure a talking dog could get away with any sort of foul that he commited cos the ref would be so astounded that a dog could speak that he wouldn't charge him with anything,plus gaspode can put thoughts into peoples' heads cos the person wouldn't think that a dog could speak etc

Er... I think he is a good goalkeeper...

Wizz

My magic is bigger than my brain...

Hmmm, I clicked on "reply" and I'm not sure if that's the right way to add a comment so if I get it wrong; my bad.
Hi, I'm new etc, I love Pratchett and have ever since some years ago my father bought "Nightwatch" and on the side I will [hopefully] be starting uni next year [yay me]. I've read all the Discworld bar "Eric" and anything published after "Thud!" if I remember correctly. And I'm flabergasted that no-one thought to put Constable Dorfl on the team. He's not very fast granted, but as Vimes said in "Thud!"; ".../Both/ of you, are impeding me in the execution of my duty. That gives me, oooh, a whole /range/ of options. The one I'm thinking of right now is summoning Constable Dorfl. He's a golem. Nothing impedes /him/ in the execution of his duty, believe me. You'll be picking bits of that door off the floor for /weeks/. And I wouldn't stand in his way, if I was you." [pg 67 in the Doubleday hardback edition].
I doubt that even Detritus with his piecemaker ("when Mr. Safety-catch is not on, Mr. Crossbow is not your friend." [Nightwatch]) would stand a chance against Dorfl so anyone fast enough to take the ball would be too scared. In fact Dorfl could probably be counted as a team himself.

P.S. is there or are there plans to make an official Thud! tournament?

hello and welcome sargent lettuce . and ah, why didn't anyone think of dorfl before? genius

oh...sorry..I forgot to write who is a good goalkeeper...:Detritus

Wizz

My magic is bigger than my brain...

P.S.:Isn't there a field where I can edit my comment???

Actually I think perhaps a good line-up would include;
Offense
1) Dorfl
2) the dragon from "Guards! Guards!" (or "Men at Arms" but I think that was the one about the gun-I confuse them)
3)Mr. Boggis (We can't guarantee that we'll ever see the ball again but on the plus side unless you can trade in a receipt for a ball for a receipt for a goal then the opposing team won't get far either)
4)Lu Tze who could probably score five goals and finish before the game started (Nochdazu think how good Qu would be on the benches with his toys)
Defence
1) Lord Downey -self explanatory albeit a bit sneaky
2) the giant troll from either "Colour of Magic" or "Light Fantastic" (they are after all essencially the same book in two volumes)
3) the Sourcerer
4) Mistress Weatherwax who, although she may have the same sporting tallent as a dwarf is naturally inclined to the Pommel Horse, would stop even Brick from slurping scraped silver slide from a slab of slunkie slice with a single gaze (thats all seven troll drugs in one nearly cohesive ambiguous sentence at 1:30am with an extra "s" word thrown in.)
5) In fact this one's one of two equal favorites for me- the other is the patrician; Death. I don't think he's a particualarly good player I just think a scene with him playing soccer agains these other characters would in the right hands (I'm looking at you Terry a.k.a. god of all which is comic) be a hilarious scene.
Well that's my dream team for now but I think it would work.
Cheers

one word

tawnee

the opposition wouldn't be able to look past her um...cough...16 inch platform shoes

I believe it's spelt (or spelled?) Tawneee. The extra "e" makes all the difference you know...adds /class/.

+++every one, every day, every where is always making History with every move+++

true,kinda like making her exclusive,and therefore we tag her with the word 'classy'.although i'm pretty sure we'd all tag her with a different word if she wasn't so damn obliviuos.

Hmm, this is usually where I'd make a sexual comment possibly refering to other uses of the word "tag" or hinting that the mouth would be unnable to form words given the appropriate chance, but this being a /clean/ and /respectable/ forum I shall refrain from any such appalling comments and just assume everyone can make up their own and attribute it to me.

P.S. does Thud! actually have an advantage toward any side in practice or is it fairly even?

+++If I don't write anything intelligent here will they notice?+++

i see you you have grasped the full meaning of the word 'tag'.

regarding thud,i believe that both ahve their own strong and weak points and are therefore fairly even,you'll learn how to play each one respectively and find out if you prefer one or the other.

and no,nobody really cares if you write anything intelligent for your bottom comment thingy,i don't even know what to call it,just write something funny,like what you've already written.anyway,i'm babbling again

cheerio

I was just reading my 4 favorite blogs (football team, music, err...Hi and more words than you...) and it occured to me that you "Ook" have the last word in each one, infact you have for most of the day. This monopoly gives justification to me writing another message (make of that grammar what you will) in a crusade to be heard and because right now the exploits of Kommissar Rex and Brandtner don't interest me (If you don't know what that is then you obviously don't know what chocolate is either and as such you obviously don't have a soul).
So this is me saying...that this is me saying...(you can see where this is going)
And Mr. Shine would be an interesting player too if no-one (how /is/ that word spelt or spelled)(ditto for that one) thought of him yet.

+++Bingledy bingledy beep. It is now 10:04 Insert Funny Comment Here+++

hah,how dare you say i get the last word on everything!
hmph!!!!

and you knew anything about chocolate you would put Cadbury's on that list.

and MR Shine would be quite cool,he could GLARE(no pun intended,although it actually was) at the oppostion

You've got Komissar Rex in Australia? OMG, the world goes downhill. The best chocolate is Milka, btw.

I say, put Vetinari in. Nobody would dare stop him from scoring or even win against him. The scorpion pit is just too scary.

I WOULD respect your admiration of milka [heretic] if it weren't a trademark of the Kraft company.
Lindor rules!!!!!! (see six exclamation marks I'm not insane that's only for five [masquerade])
And yes Oz does but we have the first 5 siereis on DVD and I'm Hungarian so that makes it ok I just live here- where are you from?

+++Mein hut sie hat drei echen, drei echen hat mein hut, und wher es nicht drei echen, sie wher es nicht mein hut+++
I hope it's spelled correctly
No-ones told me how to spell those two words yet.

lindor does rock,i must agree(although it pains me to agree with you)

since we're saying german thingies or whatever,see if you understand this!!!

wen vliegen hinten vliegen vliegen,vliegen vliegen vliegen nach.

now THAT'S a lot of vliegen

Goliaths must agree once in a while to prove their I dunno.
Alas I do nat actually speak the language but since my ex-girlfriend [that lieing/backstabing/disloyal s**t/c**t/w*o*e] is german I shall ask my mother what it means.

+++What is an evil Giraffe? "I shall eat all the leaves on this tree. So that other giraffes may die. I shall hide berries where no-one can find them. I am an evil herbivore. mwuha mwuha mwuha. [imagine that peformed by Eddie Izzard who is on aproximately the same level of stand up comedy performance and Pratchett is on fantasy comedy]+++

I'm German. I don't care about what Milka is a trademark of, it just tastes best.
It's not bad, but not completely correct, either: Mein Hut, der hat drei Ecken, drei Ecken hat mein Hut. Und hätt' er nicht drei Ecken, so wär es nicht mein Hut.
The ch is pronounced differently in German, but that's nothing you need to know if you don't speak German and I can't explain it anyway.

It's fliegen, but that doesn't really matter either (not to me at least) and it means: if flies fly behind flies, then flies fly after flies. It's absolutely stupid to translate, because it doesn't make any sense.

We're getting off topic again.....

The Nac Mac Feegles!!!! They'd carry the ball into the goal and no one could stop them, because they're too fast.

nac mac feegle are also really strong

What are we on about again?

read the headline please

"It's not bad, but not completely correct, either: Mein Hut, der hat drei Ecken, drei Ecken hat mein Hut. Und hätt' er nicht drei Ecken, so wär es nicht mein Hut.
The ch is pronounced differently in German, but that's nothing you need to know if you don't speak German and I can't explain it anyway."

I couldn't quote properly

I can pronounce things relatively well since in Hungarian we use german words occasionally (I thought nachtkastli [well maybe I don;'t care how it's spelt. I want it to be an individual] was Hungarian for many many years) but I've never had to spell anything and what little German I do know derives mainly from rex/rammstein and some people I know and but rex is austrian, rammstein make a point of speaking bad German (along with Oomph! and Eisbrecher) so I am hopeless at spelling a word that I can pronounce.
But hey, I got the gist across so either I'm quasi-pseudo-semi-competent or you are well versed in drinking songs.
I do intend to learn German over the next few years.

Since you were gracious enough to correct my spelling I shall correct your Pratchettean logic. In the mind of the Nac Mac Feegle carrying the ball would be too easy. Surely they would carry the goal (and goali) to the ball and drop it over so that the goal lands over the ball which is far simpler and logical than going to the length of picking up a soccer ball and draging it across a field surely.

Are there any interesting characters from the hat full of sky/ wee free men etc books we could use?

I always thought that's a children's rhyme O.O That's what I learned it as.

lol. You might be right, but surely they would only do it once. I doubt any idiot would count a goal scored like that. So the next time they would have to carry the ball.
Tiffany with her frying pan? If not then she could train the Nac Mac Feegles. She's the only one they would listen to.

I think Death can look after the players who (?)
hurt anything at the macht or (better for him/it :who [i]died ( >|;~} )

Wizz

My magic is bigger than my brain...

i like the Nac Mac Feegles cos they remind me of the Smurfs

*shakes head slowly making tutting noises and sighing*

except that smurfs are loving and kindhearted

and speak proper english...in fact they seem to speak proper whatever country they're being broadcast in.

so are you saying that the Nac Mac Feegles can't speak proper english,i wouldn't say that in front of them

why not? they probebly cound't understand with their thick Scott accents and all

idiot!they can understand US,but we can't understand them

you don;t understand. when an accent is that thick it seeps into the ears so that normal english is scrambled into what they talk like but not even they understand it so they prttle on in their accents hoping to disguise that fact that none of them actually know any words /to/ say and hence save face

no wonder they have so many clan fights,they can't understand each other either

well actually most scotts have degressed and now "communicate" through a "complex" system of grunts and points. generally with swords

they also tend to play bagpipes,nuff said

Which one, Discworld or your sister?

Dara

THERE IS NO JUSTICE. THERE IS JUST ME.- Death

ooooo

NOW you're in trouble

*finds place to hide*

well now we may actually see the transformation of a sweet little girl inot a raging fuming beast...although those of who have had girlfriends have learnt to live with it.

OOO

Thats nasty!!!

*GRR*

IT BEGINS!!!!!

This means war!!

when initiating conflict it is not wise to quote a cartoon who's purpose it was to be beaten

now you're in trouble sgt L