Ladies and Gentleman, Dwarfs...and Other Dwarfs, Trolls of all ages.. Welcome to the Koom Valley Postal Race. The Race that stops the Disc.
Ahh yes the riders are coming out now, and what a marvelous looking bunch they are. You're not likely to see such a fine array of horseflesh anywhere else on the disc.
Oh, I've had the nod from the trackmaster. The horses are being led into the gates. You can just feel the exitement in the air as the croud hushes for the starting shot.
BANG!
And their off! Oh good start from the favourite Magrat who immediately takes the lead with a strong running gait, she'll be hard to beat in this competition let me tell you. Dwarves are Small is putting up a fight however and manages to outpace the pack. Coming in third, whipped mercilessly by it's rider, is Ponder, look at that horse Go! Just tearing up the track! The lead three are pulling away from the rest of pack, following Ponder we have OB, followed closely by SaneAlex, lots of personal rivalry there let me tell you ladies and gents. The pack is starting to thin now, with Aine, Magic-Igel and Mr Scrub strung out across the track. Palm is next with Dearmer trailing in last place. As we come round the bend, it's still Magrat in the lead. With several hundred furlongs to go.... whose race is it???
*Takes commentators hat off*
I was very excited to see that soon I will no longer be a "Tourist" which got me curious, I wonder if Magrat still has more posts that anyone else?
Congratulations for being the first to 700 posts Magrat.
And then I thought but hang on Magrats' been on the site for quite some time now (Dec 05), how does she compare with the other high posters. On a post per days membership basis was she still the undisputed CHAMP?
And the answer.....by a statistically relevant amount. Dwarves are Small was pretty close and for someone that has only been a member since February 06 Ponder has been doing a very fine post rate. No one has been a member for more than 1 year however, so I've decided to watch closely who has the best post rate over the course of a year and then declare a winner from the top ten. (Ponder still has 232 days to run the course and Mr Scrub has 49).
Their is no prize, just MASSIVE KUDOS and the ability to go Nyah Nyah Nyah.
Good Luck to our ten finalists. (Bets can be made at )
nelly - currently not packing a trunk.
An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.
GO MARROWS
(the vegetables, the vegetables)
you, my friend, are a genius.
and its like soooo obviously me
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Aye, but my first posts hail from a byegone era when there were only ~10 of us on the forum, and not so much to say. I demand that my posts-per-day be considered over a 365-day period starting at a time more favourable to me
Mr Scrub
"LOOKS PERFECTLY LOGICAL TO ME"
I demand, however, that all posts by me, including the 500+ in dinosaur thudgame.com, and the 400+ in go-between disworldstamps.com, shall be considered! Ha!
Simply wonderful, WP! Is the financial year over yet, I wonder?
I am not sure it will be positive kudos: Too much time on the person's hands? I'm not sure what my excuse will be, but looks like I may have to think of one. Quick typer, anyone believe that.....
Plateau? What does that make aristotle? Aristoner? Wait he didn't do drugs...
Bickering amongst the jockeys!
Ladies and Gentleman, what is this, ohhh the trainer of Mr Srub has issued a challenge to his weight-for-age in mid race. Highly unorthodox ladies and gentleman and against the spirit of the sport. Did he forget the horse's age perhaps? Wait, whats this? OB's trainer is also claiming weight for age irregularities. Ohh The CONTOVERSY! I'm sure the weighing officials will be heavily scrutinized for this.
*commetators hat off*
Mr Scrub, OB, the race officials have checked the rulebook and in their considered opinion "stuff happens" was the response. Without access to previous data, unknown by the selection committee (me) the race will be run as stated and no allowaces will be made for previous posting records or more favourable time segments for the jockey's (However as with all racing officials this view may vary with the application of money in plain brown envelopes to the officials address).
WP
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
<wipes tear from eye> good decision that man!
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It's a shame that Nelley the Marrow didn't join a few weeks earlier, Because if she did - She would be IN THE LEAD. - Lets leave her for a dark horse on the next race
Edit - Congratulatiosn Nelly on being the quickest to Barroom Thug
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
nelly - currently not packing a trunk.
An explosion of soup made the bumblebee fly, so I'm told.
GO MARROWS
(the vegetables, the vegetables)
Damn...
I should place my bets a bit more carefull next time.
Ach well, off to the bookies again...
Thanks for wasting your time...
an up-date my good man?
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Umm no one has finished yet
I'll be creative later
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
Time for an update on the race
Currently the race list looks like this
Magrat
Ponder
Dwarves are Small
SANEAlex
Oograh Boike
Aine
Mr Scrub
Dearmer
Magic-Igel
Palm
(If Nelly the Marrow was in this race she would be winning by the way - by a lot!)
So what has changed?
Magrat is still winning (you go girl!)
)
)
Ponder has moved from third place to second place, overtaking Dwarves are Small (Ponder want's to win can't you feel it - he's gaining on Magrat
SANEAlex has overtaken OB (no surprise during the tournament that OB wasn't invited to
Dearmer has moved up the list as well (probably all that arguing over the "Poons Offensive")
Magic Igel and Palm have dropped back (why so tactiturn boys?)
And Aine hasn't moved in ranking (slow and steady probably won't win this race Aine
Mr Scrub still hasn't finished and Ponder still has a looong way to go.
End of Update
Wp
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
huzzah!
and im not really tring to win, i would never take the glory away from her magesty. she will have me be-headed
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and im not really tring to win, i would never take the glory away from her magesty. she will have me be-headed
Oh, Ponder, you know we're not into that sort of thing in Lancre. If someone misbehaves, we just take them aside and speak gently to them. And outshining the modern monarch is not misbehaving - we encourage initiative.
But if anyone really wants to know the secret to success in this endeavor, it is merely this:
play almost all your games on the forum. That's all there is to it.
Trouble is, in Lancre, if you take someone aside too far, they'll fall off.
Though admittedly, that does sort out the problem.
Thats funny, I thought everyone knew that if you wanted someone "sorted out" in Lancre you simply left a message under a potplant along the lines of....
Missuz Wethrwax,
Ponder said you wuz a meen, ugly old hag.
I herd 'im you go ax him, I mean ask him.
Anon
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
Thats funny, I thought everyone knew that if you wanted someone "sorted out" in Lancre you simply left a message under a potplant along the lines of....
Missuz Wethrwax,
Ponder said you wuz a meen, ugly old hag.
I herd 'im you go ax him, I mean ask him.
Anon
I will now jump off some high place to save you some trouble... bon voyáge!!!
*thud*
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Scrub
ANd Mr scrub crosses the Line with 609 Post in 365 Days!!
We have our first horse over the line. Way to go Mr Scrub!! Give him a big round of applause folks.
Windle
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
Yay me
Tho that does mean I've missed the opportunity to post loads of pointless messages in the last few days of my year...
Hello from sunny Greenbelt, by the way! (Saw Lee here yesterday, and I'm having a great deal of fun stewarding for the first time).
Mr Scrub
"LOOKS PERFECTLY LOGICAL TO ME"
OH NO!!!
With the current new site I can't see how many posts have occured
Will the race ever finish?
Dum Dum DUMMMMM
I can't even see it with my spanking new druid status
(
Windle
Windle shook his head sadly. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. !!!!!
OH NO!!!
argh! tis true mi laddie!
i thought the deal was that druids could see stuff like that?!
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