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a very old fish

are we talking about hand baggage or trunks here?
in any case:

inflated rubber dinghi

a grown up oak tree

Holiday Reading in the hand luggage in tin foil book covers

The Idiots guide to WMD

The Dummies guide to detonations

and to complete set :-

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Hide and seek champions through the ages and their methodology's

a frisbee

a small yellow box, within it a smaller yellow box and within that a badger

a whoopee cushion

air-to-surface missile

I just want to take a 1Kg bag of flour or some similar thing in a bit fo coffee* and heaps of tin foil.

*coffee has a strong smell hence it is used to mask drugs

A stuffed elephant with a set of 11 interchangable tusks.

lurve this topic

Screaming children...

Snakes...

Warning: strong langauge:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=IxBdILPlEzc

2 toy planes to crash into each other while giggling hystrerically

life raft and spare life jacket

any of you people

edit:not in a bad way!!!
it'd just be too crazy

parachute and the book "surviving a plane crash for dummies"

A Pilot Uniform and a Book: "How to fly a plane in twenty minutes"

errrrr....bombs, actualy, that would be a good thing, just kidding, but not realy

A bird that can imitate radio messages

a tasmanian devil

A snake (at least if u go to New Zealand)

a dartboard which you put next to a window on the other side of the plane

A Beehive

a small taco stand

A remote control with buttons like:
Start engine
Steer left/right
Explode Bomb
Feed passengers
...

a creature that feeds on passengers

Or a creature that produces Helium

This one might be conclusively the worst possible thing to take:

Timmy Mallet

im sorry, but i think i can top him...

Graham Norton

You want to top Timmy Mallet with Graham Norton?!? You definitely shouldn't be doing THAT on a plane!

I wonder what you'd get

Arrested.

i have no idea who these people are,but i could probably go one better still,a bit political though...robert mugabe,the plane would be shot down before it could take off i actually wonder why no one has done that yet...hmmmm

Hey Ook, are u still able to post things after you wrote the last one? Isn't the gouvernment already searching vor you

so maybe it would be a bad idea to take ook on a plane.....especially after his latest post

And because there are some tricky regulations on importing the higher primates into many countries.

He says, implying that it would be OK for a skeletal tramp to cross borders freely :-S

MS

should be ok, after all you can't actually take any diseases with you and were at some point human (or at least the people at the airport would think so), so if you got a valid passport... i at least haven't had any trouble yet.

Did you have a new picture of you in the passport? It might get a bit tricky if you need a passport with biometrical data.

well, if you define smiling as a movement of muscles leading to a different facial expression than when they're relaxed then a skeleton cannot smile and all pictures of a skeleton are biometrical.

Ah, I was more thinking about fingerprints, retina-scans and so on

that might turn out to be a bit difficult. but let's get back on topic, shall we?

a human hand that is not connected to any body (any more).

wow well i'm glad you're all so thoughtful,if i ever need to go on a plane i'll call you people to work out all the details

...your last comment was funny ratty,turns a new light on the term 'hand luggage'

...a collection of mucus in interesting shapes whichyou ogle over and ask people's opinion about

A feegle

The entire population of Canada

I thought there were only about 7 people in Canada, and they just put on different hats whenever the queen goes to visit to give the illusion that there were more. That's why it's mostly empty, right? So you could get them all on a plane no trouble...

MS

*grumbles*

Anyway, i wouldn't recommend taking on Rolf harris with a wobble board.

what am i saying?!?! that would be awesome!

Snakes

Hmm i can just imagine it the headlines being :-
US SkyMarshal shoots Rolf Harris whilst he is playing Stairway to heaven on the wobble board.

Now does the Marshal say:-

1) "Stairway to heaven its obvious he was religious nut about to do the martyrdom thing."

2) "He was armed i could have had a really bad paper cut from that wobble board"

3) "OK i admit it i am LED Zeppelin fan"

You had to go and remind me about that!? I remember the first time I heard that as if the swords are still being plunged into my head now.